Images Matter

Thomas Merton paraphrasing Hegel:

History–the judgment not of intentions only, nor of consequences only, but of the measure in which values have passed into facts by virtue of free action.

I heard a man in a meeting say that the only thing he could hope to do about the wreckage of his past was outlive it. When I read the above passage I am reminded that my life in recovery is not the philosophy that I read, the lessons that I learn, nor the dreams that I have. When I have been living within my compulsive behavior, every wisdom I have been exposed to or espoused has been nothing more than a futile intellectualization. My intentions were frequently noble, but without any action to make those intentions enacted life choices. The consequences of my compulsive behavior were frequently devastating, debilitating, or even shame-inducing. But my history is not just the futility of intention, nor the wreckage of consequence; my history is one of recovery. Choosing a sponsor, so that I could learn from his wisdom, was a value past into fact. Attending a meeting is a value that passes into fact. Listening to people share about what they are doing in recovery gives me new material to enact on a daily basis, and every day I physically try something in recovery (attempting honesty, keeping a gratitude list) I write another line in my history. A history that outlives the wreckage of my past and is a true reflection of my values because at the end of the day, those values have past into fact by virtue of free actions, not intellectualizations, but actions.